Musicology

Today I purchased the new record by Times New Viking. Now I have been in the trenches of rock for a long time, but never have I heard so good a record recorded so badly. Bands like No Age and Times New Viking certainly have a way with ear-shredding feedback. Doubtless* this is some kind of sonic comment on today's super-compressed, unlistenable mainstream albums.

I am sure you have heard of the loudness war. What, you haven't? Then click the link! I couldn't tell why modern major label albums were giving me a headache but this explained it to me.

Times New Viking gave me a headache for a completely different reason. But I kind of liked it! Now, the most ferocious squall of feedback I have ever had to suffer was when I listened to the entire ouevre of So So Many White White Tigers all the way through, twice, on their Myspace page. It was the same thrill of pure, adrenalised terror I used to get listening to John Peel back in the day.

I must warn you that the link above is not for weak minds, and that I found the band when investigating the mercifully brief musical career of "No Condom? Whatever". You have been warned &etc

*By "doubtless" I mean "wouldn't it be nice if".

Hey Boffins Listen Up

Here's a question to tax the smartest mind. Ten years ago, you never saw a "surge protector" on sale in the UK. Given the nature of UK 240AC home wiring, and that all plugs are fused, aren't surge protectors completely unnecessary for a home computer? To the best of my understanding, the only way you could fry your computer with a surge was via a phone line plugged into an old school modem. And that could only happen if lightning struck something (I don't know, the postman? I'm not a scientist.)

Who will answer my parochial surge question?

Who will be a hero?

Time tunnel

I designed this last week after making today's comic. It seemed the right thing to do! That first sentence makes it sound like I can travel in time, which I can, but only forward (like every other stumblebum).



I am going to begin a gradual cull of a lot of the long-in-the-tooth designs in the tshirt store. It appears to be time for a new broom!

ADDENDUM: Somehow I typed an "E" when I was meant to type a number 3. Should I leave it in for the sake of serendipity? Or might I drive the obsessive compulsive off a cliff like lemmings?

Bell

Working on the repeatedly requested Easter Bell shirt today.

The magic hour

I can't believe it's April already. Everything I do seems to take ages and yet the months are whipping by so quickly. Soon I will be trying to eat steak with one tooth and riding around in a bathchair with a blanket over my knees, steering with a kind of front-mounted wheel-rudder. by George, that day can't come fast enough! Apart from the tooth thing, brush your teeth everybody and don't eat too many sweets.

Hm now, what news what news.

Adding the comments feature to the Scary Go Round site was very dangerous for me, I have thin skin and hate criticism. After all, when you have buried your neuroses good and deep in the pit of your stomach, it's not fair of people to dig them up, print them on a tshirt and dance in front of your weeping eyes. But I have been pleased with the good manners and lack of bad language among the commenters. Maybe society will be okay for a little while yet!

That said, almost every day, someone will write a question about Erin Winters. Here's an exclusive for blog readers: that is a character who is never, ever, coming back. I have written why at length in Scary Go Round book 6 (in which she features prominently) so I guess you'll have to read it to discover my tedious thoughts on the matter.

On the subject of book 6, hopefully the wait won't be much longer. I have made it to 240/400 in my postcard project but my lord, what a slog. I have drawn a lot of Shelleys now. An AWFUL lot of Shelleys.

An awful awful lot of Shelleys.

Small hobbies: "wrong video"

Pop videos are thought to be a noble art, but I find that you can play almost any, unrelated performance (muted, obviously) in accompaniment to a song and create an eerily accurate promo clip. It doesn't really matter if the words and singing are wrong so long as the instruments are about right.

I was listening to the new (amazingly not awful at all) REM record while watching this with the sound down and it seemed right!

In my defence, I had to draw something very complicated this morning so my mind might not be firing on all (or any) cylinders.

Hence, "politesse"

I redesigned my website yesterday using CSS. See, I got a letter from the government the other day, opened it, read it, it said that I hadn't learned a new web technique since 2001. I was going to write back and say that CSS always winds up being a right pig's ear in one browser or another but I tried it anyway and it seems to work. In the two browsers I tested it in. Which did not include "Intanet Explorer".

Whenever I redesign my site, one person will write and say "why did you change it mang, I liked it better before". Of course you liked it, sir, you were extremely used to it. I on the other hand have to look at that site several times a day and had gone past your simple appreciation of it. I was sick of it. That is why the colour scheme is now alien, the fonts outlandish, and the layout obscenely futuristic. I never wanted to see any feature of that site ever again in my lifetime. As a result, neither will you.

Though actually, I didn't change the layout. I like the way it is, honest, simple and true. Why not try the site in a Netscape Navigator 2 emulator for a time-warping trip into history?

Opinions I formed after judgement had gone to bed #1

"Stephanie Flanders is too hot for Newsnight."

But now Stephanie Flanders is chief economics correspondent for the BBC! She's going to RUIN the BBC with her FANCY WAYS.

Stephanie Flanders: the tip of what I fear is an enormous personal iceberg, where already clearly visible over the meniscus is Jenny Scott from the Daily Politics.

This post is brought to you courtesy of the "economists your dad would have had a crush on" desk.


"John that is quite enough of that."

Restricted dance moves

The blog is going to be quiet for the next week or so but will resume in earnest thereafter. In the meantime I have the UK Webcomix Thing in London to deal with and the upcoming visit of Dr McNinja and Mama Monardo with their strange foreign ways that will turn my town upside down.

I hope a few of the loyal blog readers will be able to come and see me in London on Saturday, when I will be bearing all before me like a Dickensian waif just evicted from the poorhouse. I posted this list on the front page of the site already but here is what I will have with me (in descending price order):

* Giraffe canvas prints (ltd run of 20, 10 available, 30 x 60cm)
* All 32 pages of my Ghosts book original artwork for sale
* All the Scary Go Round collections - including the out of print Blame the Sky and Looks Brains & Everything.
* Some fancy velcro topped Shelley bags - for a lady!
* My roughs for whole weeks of comics sold in fives
* Ghosts and Girlspy (I found five in the cupboard!) books
* Buttons and stickers
* Postcards
* Leftover San Diego minicomics that were making a mess of the place

Anyway I have worn out my brain preparing for this so be kind when you see my small, wan face looking up at you.

Grey skies

When I looked in the mirror this morning, I noticed that my hair is going pretty grey! Soon I will be unable to move among the young because they will find me out and tar and feather me. I would move to a lighthouse right now if I only had the money (in order to see out my old age in dignity and seclusion) but property prices prevent such drastic measures. So I suppose I had better go to the chemist and get one of those products I have seen advertised all my life. You know what I am talking about. No not suicide pills!



Now sure, Just For Men is the market leader. You kind of slop it on your head and suddenly a lady touches your dyed, lying hair because you are Young Again. But what about the classic alternative - Grecian 2000!



Grecian 2000 comes in a tube so I guess if I felt self-conscious and old in the street I could keep it in my pocket and whip it out for a topical application.

Of course the other option is to go peroxide blond. It's fashionable, hip and so hot right now. See below:



This is a difficult time for me, so I hope you can help me decide how to grow old gracefully. And don't laugh at me! This will be you one day, decrepit and feeble!

PS I find wigs and hats itchy so they are out.

Postcard frenzy

My 400 postcard project is one quarter finished! Here's a photo of progress so far...

Kinder Surprise Witch

Yesterday I bought a Kinder Surprise egg and from it came a witch on wheels with an articulated jaw that cackles as you push her along. I cannot imagine that a more fitting item could have sprung forth from such an egg and the five minutes I spent grappling with the plastic tub within just added to the pleasure of receiving the witch. Today for my postcard project (current total 55/400) I am going to draw ten witches.

On another matter altogether, I like to read Pitchfork every day because it's a very good place to find new music. But some of their reviews are an extraordinary exercise in saying absolutely nothing at all. Someone clearly typed about 400 words here but at the end I challenge anyone to be any the wiser as to what it is like.

My favourite phrases:
"dialed-up vocal presence"
"this practically demands a footnoted lyric sheet"
"you suspect he's play-acting as much as he is singing"
"...turns that churning spoken-word passage into the skeleton for a celebratory sliver of symphonic electro"

A score is given (8.4) but as anyone who ever bought a Deerhunter or Beach House record can attest, Pitchfork's scores are assigned using the same numerology pioneered by lovecalculator.com and may not be based on merit. On a good day I can read the synopses on the front page and guess the score to within .3 for each one.

Mind you, last week someone described my comics as creating a sense of aphasia, in that they recognised the words used but no longer understood what they meant. No one is innocent!

Suicide strike

As my books usually take about six years to break even, while the last couple of hundred copies sell out in 2 days flat, I have decided to try something new for the book 6 pre-order. I have to sell about 400 to break even, so the first 400 will come with a random hand-drawn postcard by me. Some are felt-tip line-drawings, some are done with brush markers or pencils, a few are in colour, I may paint a couple to be won like golden tickets. My question to you, readers, before I break my body and mind forever in completing this task, is does this provide the necessary frisson to speed your early purchase?

OTHER BUSINESS
A few weeks ago I may have lightly poked fun at XKCD. This was done out of pure jealousy at its enormous readership and minimal artistic effort, probably after a day spent agonising over drawing someone's shoulders correctly. It was not a very nice thing to do. Randall Munroe is just a man doing his level best in the world and receiving towering wheelbarrows of money and gems as a result.

I am not as successful as Randall Munroe because, instead of making humorous comics about lofty scientific and mathematic principles, my comics are emotionally impenetrable thousand-yard stares into the void masquerading as hi-jinks. From now on, this is going to change.

(Thinks for a minute, I do not know anything about science, all my expertise lies in skylarking and tomfoolery, what have I done &etc)

I have been forced by circumstances to change back.

The tallest entry of all time

It hasn't all been ACTING ACTING ACTING and drinking acting juice round here the last few days. I have also been working on my UK Webcomix Thing limited print. I don't know how many of these I'm going to make yet, but you can have a look at it. I abandoned my country pride idea but what I finally came up with seems reasonable. I just wish it wasn't one of five big jobs I have to finish near simultaneously.

There Will Be Ham

Well, I saw "There Will Be Blood" on Friday. What a preposterous film it was. Maybe Daniel Day Lewis is the greatest actor of his generation, or maybe, just maybe, he serves up slices of the thickest ham ever cut and lays them on as thickly as ham has ever been laid on.

Anyway, I drew some diagrams to explain the film immediately after watching it, these should save you three hours and the price of a ticket.



I will say that the three hours passed quickly, it sure looked pretty. But it was total twaddle.

It's my lucky day

Did you hear that Nicholas Gurewitch is winding up Perry Bible Fellowship? This is fantastic news. All I need is the following things to happen and I will be the creator of the greatest comic on the internet:

Chris Onstad (Achewood) decides to concentrate on carpentry, Jimmy Carter '80 style
Kate Beaton (Kate Beaton) retires to Orkney to breed bonxies
Kelly Vivanco (Patches) finally gets her call up to the US hang-gliding team (she's so close!)
Aaron Diaz (Dresden Kodak) announces his "fingerpainting period" has begun
Steven Cloud (BOASAS) vanishes in Mongolia
Dorothy Gambrell (Cat & Girl) takes public office
Meredith Gran (Octopus Pie) and Chris Hastings (Dr McNinja) destroy each other in a blaze of anger and recrimination
and
James Turner (Beaver & Steve) will go pearly full-time

Do you suckas not understand? I will be the last man standing, ride your "talent", "ability" and "skill" all you like, but the tenacious battleship barnacle of webcomics (me) will not be denied!

Phoo Action

The first artist who I ever sat down and tried to copy was Jamie Hewlett of Tank Girl/Gorillaz fame. Very early in his career (I suppose 1987 or so) he used to do spot illustrations for Commodore User. Commodore User was a bit rub compared to Zzap!64 but I was fascinated with his dirty-looking, angular illustrations that seldom bore the faintest relation to the article they accompanied. I was only 11 or 12, but there seemed to be something vulgar and insane about them that I wasn't getting from Fantastic 4 or the Avengers. Or The Gambols.

So I enjoyed BBC3's Hewlett adaptation "Phoo Action" last week, and I'm pleased that a series has been commissioned. The hour-long pilot wasn't the best TV show ever made but it had a lot of promise, and it looked fantastic. I'm sure most people who watched it were mystified, but I revelled in Jamie Winstone's perfect Hewlett-girl look and the beautifully silly villains. And despite the fact that the heroine's main power was rooting around in her magic hotpants and retrieving items, you could have watched it with your mum without having to avert your eyes or pretend that you do not understand what is going on at any point.

I wish there was a symbol in the TV guide that indicated post-watershed shows like that. "This episode of The Shield contains no up against the wall lady-man activity slash smoking crack through an empty eye socket". What a relief!

Back

I don't know why I'm making so many blog posts at the moment. I'm sure you long for the days when I used to update once every three weeks.

Anyway I have made the back cover for book 6, a clear indicator that this dang thing is on the way soon!

Me and the boys from Brussels

I had that Jacques Delors on the phone the other day after I complained about the USA constantly fingerprinting me and making me queue for a long time. "Johnny," he said, "you have done more for freedom and transatlantic relations in the last 9 years than any other man alive." Of course I thanked him - it's nice to be appreciated.

"It's a cuss of the first order from the USA to make you stand in a queue and maybe miss a connecting flight. We'll bite back. Leave it to me and my crazy good legislating skills." Here's what happened.

I'm sorry I started this now. Jacques is a good lad, but he's over-eager. Now what are we going to do?

PS Happy Valentines Day to everyone who does not have a sweetheart. I am not going to kiss you all because I don't want to catch a cold. Divide yourselves into boys and girls and work out who you want to kiss, school disco style. It will be fine.

Oh-woah country pride

I'm working on a print for the UK Webcomix Thing in March. It'll probably be a very limited thing on canvas (maybe 10 or 12) in a non-standard size. Anyway, after several countrified drafts, here's the final rough:



I see Shelley's country style as being like a very distracted Dolly Parton, while Esther is kind of a dread Crystal Gayle of the night.



Also on that page was a picture of Barbara Bosson in Hill Street Blues, I'm obsessed with her big specs and huge wall of hair. She must have had some kind of super powers. The missing speech bubble for the picture on the right says "it's municipal!"

It's been a pleasure

I love American freedom as many of you know. I salute the eagle and would personally dry his tears on Old Glory. But travelling into the country just gets worse and worse. Here's why I'm not attending any conventions in the USA this year or for the forseeable future. It's starting to get silly.

Crafternoon

I did a painting today to test some techniques Kelly Vivanco showed me, I post it here for completeness! It's 11x16" on canvas, dimension fans.



UPDATE: The auction is go!

More snoozing and losing

Thanks for your help with the mathematical deal between snoozing and losing. Armed with what I was told, I started on the design. But it came out... sort of nondescript:



I can only describe what had happened five minutes later as "inexplicable".



I think I've used up all my brains for this week. See you next week.

Snoozers vs losers

A few people have written and asked for a shirt based on this strip, and actually for once I think it would make a good one! But I don't know how to express "snoozing directly correlates to losing" mathematically. I can't remember any maths at all. I can't even do matrices or vectors or simultaneous equations any more. What I hope is that in the comments to this post, someone will help me as best they can.

Thanks maths.
THATHS.

Beatmasters and Merlin MC come correct

Who's in the house?
A Desmond hat made by Rachel Thompson is in the house.

Fellow ups

Well, thank you for all the responses to the previous post. I hope I can address them for you.

SUBSCRIPTIONS
------------
Scary Go Round launched as a subscription-only comic in 2002! It was about as successful as asking people to pay with their own teeth. Two years after the two week long debacle of subscriptions, people were still finding the comic and saying "hey mang John Allison I thought you stopped doing comics".

BONUS MATERIAL FOR THE SUBSCRIBING FAITHFUL
---------------------------------------
All bonus efforts are currently directed into making the daily comic good, and the blog must remain free otherwise where would I wail at length before admitting "I was wroooongggg".

BOOK 6
------
I now feel better about book 6 and have some hope in my heart. But I will do a pre-order to allow people to flex their patron muscles as this seems to be what is desired.

DONATION DRIVES
---------------
I might have a one-off NPR-style pledge drive if I stop feeling a bit weird about things like that. I think the comic is good enough now that it is okay to do something like that once a year. But I'd still want to create a kind of reward program and I know the rewards would be rotten.

Scary Go Round book 6 news

I spent today laying out Scary Go Round book 6. It comprises stories 35-40, which runs from Crowley in love through to the ghost cube halloween thing.

Reading back through the whole Super Crisis Quests thing today, I get the sense that I wasn't at my best. I tried hard but it didn't quite come off. If I had another stab at it, I could probably do it a lot better, but such is the peril of a daily comic!

I suppose what I really want to know is, is anyone that bothered about the collections any more? There's nothing special about a book of Scary Go Round comics, I've released about ten. You've been kind enough to read them on the web, which is all the indulgence I ask.

I'm getting tired of bellyaching about merchandise and I bet you're getting tired of hearing me bellyache about it. But I worked out last night that if every reader paid one english pence a week for Scary Go Round, I'd not have to sell anything at all. It felt like a sad statistic. The people who read the blog are probably paying hundreds of those 1ps each, wouldn't it be a lovely world if you didn't have to?

A world where a unicorn was President of the United States of America.

Stick'r stick'r stick'r

Can you believe I've almost run out of the "Oh Prease" stickers? You'd think I was giving them away! Oh wait, I am. So I have designed another one. I hope you like it but if you don't, I won't be putting out too many buckets to catch my tears.

Actual conversation from earlier in the day

"That new tote bag is great! I bet you are rolling in money, John. Give me some of your money".

"I have sold 7."

"I bet this never happens to the man who draws the stick man comic about mathematics."



Actually, I did that wrong, didn't I. Drawn correctly it's more like this:



(The brutal compression applied to these images is indicative of disdain.)

Get Dancin' '08

Has it really been so long? I am pleased to offer the full seven minute version of Get Dancin' (parts 1 and 2!!) by Disco Tex And The Sex-o-lettes for people who didn't wear out their ears last time I suggested you listen to it. This is like a secret club and not everyone is going to want to be a member.

And, AND

I am working on a new tote bag, this a rough deal with placeholder writing and no colours but I liked it enough to want to put it on here. It's quite ladylike. Ladies-ish.

Triple bill of shame

I have had this one in the works for a while. I entitled it "Prisoner of Conscience In A Post 9-11 Artscape (Analogue 4)"



Designs which failed on this occasion included "Picnic Riot", "Bear On A Chopper Bike" and "Flying Saucer Race". I am still looking at "I Saw A Fish"... a tricky design which may falter on the cold concrete doorstep of public opinion.

Blards

Here's a link to the page with all the cards I did, it's a bit of a bandwidth-er so I'm going to take it down in a week.

BLARDS BLARDS BLARDS! The two broken images at the end are The Boy and Hugo, who I never drew.

In other news, I think Quebecor World are about to go into administration so I'm not desperate to publish my next book with them. This has led, alas, to DELAY.

I had a dream, I had an awesome dream 1

Awesome is an adjective and one that only Lionel Richie is in a position to use every day.

Last night I dreamt that I had been invited to a launch party for Black Kids' (hot rock tips for 08!) new single. But while the single was played (I love dreams where you hear music that doesn't actually exist), the main thrust of the evening was pushing Black Kids' range of associated merchandise. I am proud to recount what you could get:

1. "Action Van" in three sizes
2. Speedboat being ridden by plastic stag
3. Pickup truck
4. Limited edition set of two pickup trucks whose cabs were threaded through one another like a chain (I was given the hard sell on this one)
5. 12" remix record and accompanying embroidered crochet blanket.

I woke up at 4.10am in kind of a panic. What can all this mean?

Cards cards

You may remember that I mooted a set of Scary Go Round playing cards about a year and a half ago, a project that I abandoned due to cost. I can't remember if I ever showed the artwork (which was 95% done when I gave up - great use of time!) If I didn't and you'd like to see it, make some effusive noises in the comments. It was the last concerted Adobe Illustrator project I did and came out really nice.

He's predictable

Today I felt the urge to paint for the first time in about 2 years - probably no surprise as the current comics are a lot more computer intensive than they've been for about... 2 years!



I guess I'll eBay it, so if you want it, keep an eye out for an auction announcement later this week! (As always, the flash is a bit brutal - it looks a lot nicer in person).

Recent panics

"Omigod omigod do I still own Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morrisette?"

You, you, you oughta know whether you still own Jagged Little Pill, John.

The answer: YEAH!

I am going to listen to it and report back what the twelve years since I listened to it have done to this particular disc.

UPDATE (about two minutes later): I don't think I can keep going much longer

UPDATE (a further minute later): this has to stop right now

"Omigod omigod do I still own Fairweather Johnson by Hootie and the Blowfish?"

&etc

Creative decisions

I decided about two months ago that I wasn't going to censor and exorcise 98% of the Anglo-centric references from Scary Go Round, as I have done for the last 9+ years of cartooning. I have always taken pleasure from learning about American culture from US media and it is time for a valve to be fitted in the opposite direction.

You're very welcome to write to me if you don't understand something! I will not, however, reply.

Wait, no, here's my reply: INFANT PAVEMENT

Let's not mess it up

Happy new year, blog readers. Thank you for continuing to read my self-regarding nonsense. I see a bright future on the horizon, harnessing plentiful bamboo, spandex jackets and clean, cheap geothermal energy. It's the future, we made it.

Good-bye 2007

I have returned from my Christmas revelries and in mere moments will place my nose on the grindstone once more in preparation for 2008. I hope the diversion of my end-of-year list was tolerable. Here it is in full, including numbers 21-30 but excluding numbers 31-42 which to be honest I just put in order for my own amusement. Yeah I heard that "Neon Bible", it would have made a pretty good 7" single. But no I didn't hear that new Animal Collective "Strawberry Jam" deal, I'm saving it for a slack week.

1 WIDOW CITY - Fiery Furnaces
2 RISE ABOVE - Dirty Projectors
3 NIGHT FALLS OVER KORTEDALA - Jens Lekman
4 MIRRORED - Battles
5 GA GA GA GA GA - Spoon
6 EASY TIGER - Ryan Adams
7 TONES OF TOWN - Field Music
8 FRIEND OPPORTUNITY - Deerhoof
9 SPIRIT IF - Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew
10 THE STAGE NAMES - Okkervil River
11 STICKING FINGERS INTO SOCKETS EP - Los Campesinos!
12 IN RAINBOWS - Radiohead
13 PERSON PITCH - Panda Bear
14 UNDER THE BLACKLIGHT - Rilo Kiley
15 IMAGINE OUR LOVE - Lavender Diamond
16 DYNAMICO - Mitch Easter
17 SCRIBBLE MURAL COMIC JOURNAL - A Sunny Day In Glasgow
18 THE PIRATE GOSPEL - Alela Diane
19 WIZARDS OF AHHHS EP - Black Kids
20 LIKE THE LINEN - Thao Nguyen
-
21 A BRIGHTER BEAT - Malcolm Middleton
22 TIME ON EARTH - Crowded House
23 BOXER - The National
24 MOUNT EERIE PTS 6+7 - Mount Eerie
25 23 - Blonde Redhead
26 WINCING THE NIGHT AWAY - The Shins
27 THE STARS AND SUNS SESSIONS - Chikita Violenta
28 WILD MOUNTAIN NATION - Blitzen Trapper
29 ARE THE DARK HORSE - The Besnard Lakes
30 SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE - New Buffalo

I do have some (very very) modest diversions for Monday and Tuesday, but regular comics resume Wednesday.

Albums not of the year

I spent Saturday compiling my albums of the year for 2007. Shelley has submitted some very thoughtful reviews this year - she's getting very good at this! Well, very good for someone whose thoughts aren't by any means well organised. Look out for them week of December 24.

But this year I heard a lot of records that I had missed on previous annual trawls. I've put an asterisk next to the ones you can get on emusic.com - take advantage of their 50 free tracks new subscriber deals, it's a very good site if you like music on indie labels.

TOP TEN ALBUMS NOT OF THE YEAR

1. THE GLOW PART 2 - The Microphones *
2. EVERCLEAR - American Music Club *
3. SECAUCUS - The Wrens
4. ADELIE LAND - Handsomeboy Technique *
5. 完全な昼間 - Kabbadi Kabbadi Kabbadi Kabbadi
6. DOG PROBLEMS - The Format *
7. SING THE GREYS - Frightened Rabbit *
8. COSMIC THING - The B-52s
9. MEL - East River Pipe *
10. WAITING FOR THE TIME TO BE RIGHT - The Brother Kite *

Now I realise that number 8 is a bit controversial - there was certainly a point in my life when I thought I'd be physically sick if I ever heard "Love Shack" again. It probably coincided with the period of my life where I had a series of "bad pints". But it's such a pretty, overlooked album and you can get it for a pound almost anywhere. LET'S RE-EVALUATE Y'ALL.

Terrible realisations that may cost me a wife

I just realised that when I air-drum at my desk with my Wacom pens (I have so many!), I do the "Meg White head thing". I can't help it, it makes drumming fun! NO ONE MUST EVER SEE THIS.

Experience ought to help you tell but it really doesn't

I have been practising some more with the Cintiq and Manga Studio, with a view to using them for my next side project. I stuck my finger at random in 2003's comics and redrew this one.

No A-loha(n)

I've had word in, it's official: from 12pm today you may now listen to your Christmas albums.

My youth

The circle has been squared, you can now watch old Chart Show specialist charts on Youtube!

The dance chart October 1989. I'm delighted to say that based on the record at number two, I still knew after 18 years what the record at number one was.* We didn't have a VCR in 1989, but I still remember being very, very disappointed.

The Indie Chart of March 1990. Fugazi were obviously too scary for Saturday lunchtime network TV but it didn't matter as they didn't make videos due to principles, so we got a Lush promo clip instead!!!

I am feeling weak and giddy and must rest. ENJOY THE PAST.

Flying vees

Cover work continues, I revised Shelley because the perspective was off and I wanted something slightly more manic. I think this might be where I leave it, I quite like it.

Old Man Winter's clammy fingers

Dear friends, work has begun on Scary Go Round book 6, encompassing Jan-early Nov 2007's comics. I started a bit too fast last weekend and my body told me to slow down in no uncertain terms. But you will be pleased that I have made my first attempt at the cover! There are usually about 70 attempts, but it's something to look at isn't it? Yes it is.

See it here.

I waited and waited and waited then stuck a pencil in my eye and felt better

I recently managed to score a second-hand Wacom Cintiq from a school at a "knock down price", and tests are ongoing indoors as to what I will use this fancy tablet-monitor witchcraft for. When I want to try something new out, I like to stick my finger randomly within the pages of Looks, Brains and Everything and re-draw the page at hand. So here's what I produced this time:



It was actually some of the bonus pages I drew to fill in the plot holes, so I can't offer you the original in the archive, but I have a feeling that seasoned blog readers already own this book.

Because the Cintiq screen is skiddy glass, it forces you to commit to more long strokes than I would normally make. But there you go, kind of a bonus comic for today!

Dark farmhouses against the sky

I'm just trying to shove some of the mouldier old posts off the page. Noting useful to say at all.

Mini-Lohan Christmas Spectrackular

Yesterday it was brought to my attention that Lindsey Lohan's little sister has made a Christmas album (featuring Lindsey and their doting mother!). I was excited, because I sensed that here we had a new release that would touch skyscraping holiday releases like Phil Spector's "A Christmas Gift For You" and Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas LP. But then I saw that it contained a song called "I Like Christmas".

I've never seen a more uninspiring song title than "I Like Christmas". You've gone to the recording studio to celebrate, in song, the birth of the one true messiah, with your "troubled" sister in tow, and the best you can come up with is "I Like Christmas".

I kind of picture it as a banjo-plucking number

I like Christmas
I like Elvis
I like gettin' high with elves
And I like pie

(THEATRICAL WINK TO CAMERA)

I like Jesus
I like George Strait
I like drivin' while I'm flyin'
A yi-yi-yi

Ding digga-ling-ding digga ling ding ding

AMEN

Back to business

I just had a brilliant idea. When my Scary Go Round book collections go out of print, I'll delete all the comics that were in them from the site. That way, buying one of my books will be a ticket to a very exclusive club.... and everyone will want to be a member.

Now, this may sound drastic, but I went to business school*, and I know all about supply and demand. I'm giving it away like the school bike on the last day of summer term and this madness has to stop.

Of course, this will render the Scary Go Round archives very confusing, but I like to think that an "oral tradition" will spring up, where the old stories are retold round campfires. "And lo, the comic did return after Christmas... and all heads were HUGE".

I've had a few more business ideas. I'm going to take all the speech bubbles off the comics the day after they run. To hear the dialogue after that, you'll have to phone a premium rate line and request a live reading from one of our operators. And all you other webcomic artists, don't try to steal this idea, because I have patented it.

The final change I intend making is the insertion of a wealthy patron into the comic. Wallace Paul, a beneficiary of Google's IPO, recently divested himself of a lot of stock and made a considerable donation to me in exchange for a 5-year contract as co-star of Scary Go Round. I think you'll like him! You'll have to, as I'm contractually obliged to draw him in every panel.

Well, thanks for joining me for Mindshare Wednesday!

CHANGE AND ADAPT
- John Allison

* in a dream, once

Winners don't do hugs

I've been practising drawing Shelby Winner so she doesn't have five faces in her first five appearances (woah, daylight on magic there &etc). So here's one of several. There was a big hairstyle workshop a couple of Saturdays ago, which ended with the words "more thatchy" written over and over again.



MORE THATCHY
NO LESS THATCHY
YES JUST THATCHY ENOUGH

Hamsters are the reason

Shame on ALL OF YOU for the fact that I am now working on this. I extend the hand of friendship to the 11 people who will probably say they'd buy it so I don't feel bad in my life. It is now available - here's your chance to prove that reader pressure is a force for good.



An intermediate yellow deal I posted

My original rough

It's the Saddest Wookiee minus the sales, I think.

...and heavy friends

It's time to gear up some new tshirt designs for Christmas, and maybe a hoodie too for those cold afternoons. I had a look in the ideas cupboard and it was pretty musty in there, but with a dinner of crumbs from the toaster in prospect, I knew I had to dig deep.



So I thought I'd do a series of SALUTES TO ROCK AND ROLL. Here's the first one, it's Led Zeppelin isn't it? If people like this one, I'll take requests and do a series of creepy looking band shirts. If people don't like this one, I'll make some shirts wth impenetrable phrases on them referring to sci-fi classics.

"My other car is the Starship Enterprise (the captain is Pike though see I know a lot about sci-fi)"

"Babylon 5? Babylon 4 more like oh wait that one vanished didn't it"

"I am a Cylon but we look like humans man now you're confused"

"Amy Acker ate my hamster"

and so on.

Rocktober 2007: Head and Shoulders smile miasma

Rocktober came to a close with a full-on shoegazing spectacular on a Sunday. A small sonic cathedral was erected and every effects pedal in the borough was plugged in. The result: VWOMMMMMMMM.

ASOBI SEKSU + Scanners + Kyte @ Manchester Night & Day Café - October 28th

As the bald man grooves alone:

Kyte: pedals depressed vigorously. Young men, fresh from youth club, intent on celebrating the scene that celebrates itself. The main Kyte may have been singing in a language of his own creation or simply describing onomatopoeically the sound of two cushions rubbing against one another. Turning away from the crowd to hit a snare drum is the new thing. 6/10

Scanners: a furious racket as another British group emerges from a meeting declaring "Sleater-Kinney were right all along". I don't know why this is happening. The main singer lady knows what to do. Guitar lady knows what to do (although she is concentrating pretty hard so maybe she doesn't know all that well). Men of rock hold the line. They were pretty good! 8/10

Asobi Seksu: is she playing a keyboard? Yes she is playing a keyboard. The register high, the wall of sound deafening but soothing (mostly deafening). Asobi Seksu, you made me realise (that you are a decent band). 8/10

£7!

Hypothetical good news bad news desk

Changes are afoot for Scary Go Round art once more, I am strongly considering inking with a brush and drawing at twice the size. This shouldn't take me any longer (it's actually a lot easier to pencil when I don't have to shove everything into boxes 9cm or sometimes 7cm tall). But obviously there will be a period of adjustment as I am not the most disciplined brush-inker and will need time to get hep to bristle ways.

There's also a strong possibility that in the future I may have to switch to doing the comic in black and white - purely in service of the print editions. Colour printing is getting more and more expensive and the weak dollar means that while some of the sting is taken out of it for me, I'm selling fewer books (and all other items) to the USA, where the greatest percentage of my readers are. I don't like the idea of this move very much and if I can avoid it, I will. I certainly don't want to punish my many loyal readers, who like me, enjoy all colours.

Anyway that was the good news bad news desk, here are some roughs as I prepare for a new and whiskery way. I include a mess of black and white tones that ought to make any future efforts seem elegant and refined in comparison.




PS If you are from the Guardian and wish to serialise Scary Go Round in G2 daily in exchange for a fat wedge, that's fine! Just send me the fat wedge.

"Goaty"

A nice profile piece and interview with one of my very favourite cartoonists, Posy Simmonds, in the Telegraph.

Rocktober 2007: they won't stop DRUMMING

My week of sonic sounds is now over. It was tough in the rock trenches, viewing acts that were in many ways disparate but all unified by a deep desire for the audience's love.

BATTLES + Prefuse 73 + Dirty Projectors @ Manchester Academy 2 - October 17th

Dirty Projectors: art pests or the future of sound? Musical Marmite reputation confirmed by "tricky" 12455/34761 time signature. The ladies sing pretty, a man moves around and sort of yelps. The drummer faces sideways. Excellent new "Rise Above" album very thinly mined. 6/10

Prefuse 73: you could tell these guys were into graffiti. They were very good at working their machines but I was not excited. 6/10

Battles: woah! What is going on? The widest keyboard, the hardest working man in showbusiness on drums. Robot vocals not actually performed by robot but instead by a man. More time signatures. This is the sort of music Buck Rogers and Twiki would dance to in the 25th century. 9/10


LES SAVY FAV + Clockwork @ Manchester Club Academy - October 21st

Clockwork: anyone who had been looking for an excuse that weekend to put their fingers in their ears was richly rewarded. A band who have heard Joy Division and want you to know it. 2/10

Les Savy Fav: a fusion of bog-standard late 90s indie rock and a tubby, bald, bearded fun-lover who delivers. Good times the order of the evening. Everyone is watching, no one is talking to their friend. The bald man runs around but there is no need to be scared. If you're lucky he will not sweat on you. 8/10

---

Although my birthday was on Saturday, it's not too late to send me a present, particularly if the present is:

1. A Cintiq
2. A unicorn ride
3. Some jam

Rocktober 2007: A maelstrom of difficult emotions

Last night I moved into town using short, sharp jerking movements. The railway approach platform lights were not working so it was a unique opportunity to journey into fear. Well, I say unique, they weren't working on Saturday either.

WE CONTINUE TO CONTINUE

BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE PRESENTS KEVIN DREW: SPIRIT IF + Noah and the Whale @ Manchester Club Academy - October 16th

Noah and the Whale: proficient, but yawns prevail. The sound of the Neutral Milk Hotel with all feeling, fear and drama removed. O England! 4/10

Broken Social Scene: given their shrunken 4-beard line-up and a missing lead guitarist, most heads wore the forgiveness hat at a jaunty angle. But what was not to enjoy? Extra half mark for feeble but sustained attempt to play the hits of Pavement. Extra half mark for not cancelling and ruining Rocktober. 8.5/10

DISCLAIMER: All scores commensurate with cost of gig. Full disclosure: £15.

TONITE: ROCKTOBER 2007 LOSES ALL CONTROL WITH... BATTLES + Prefuse 73 + Dirty Projectors (!!!)

Rocktober 2007 COMMENCES

It's a big month for rock shows, I have poured your cash contributions to the Scary Go Round machine into the coffers of local ticket agencies and as a result have a glittering array of entertainments in prospect. In the time honoured style, I will review them with as little fuss as possible.

WE CONTINUE

¡LOS CAMPESINOS! + You Say Party We Say Die + Sky Larkin @ Manchester Night & Day - October 13th

Sky Larkin: who can argue with these new sensations? Right minds across the nation firmly agree that they are "as good as Sleater Kinney" and can only get better! 8/10

You Say Party We Say Die: perm/bacofoil combo and frenzied attack matched only by resolute Canadian politeness. They're asking, but you're not dancing. Might just turn it around. 6.5/10

¡Los Campesinos!: No one can deny they have the chops and the new new sound. Front-Campesino needs a trip to the barber to truly convince. 1/3 shirtless line-up suggests that they will never fight in a man's army. The songs deliver! 8/10

DISCLAIMER: All scores commensurate with cost of gig. Full disclosure: £7.

Hauntlie Two

On friday I have to draw Ryan and Shelley in their halloween costumes. What should they dress as? The prize in this no-purchase-necessary competition (as free as the air you breathe) is that, if successful, I will do what you say.

Hauntlie Mk 1

After the success of the Big Chew 2007 yesterday, here's a new wallpaper to celebrate. It's halloween-ish but I think it might be good any time of the year! You can download it here, it's 1600x1200 pixels which should be big enough to swaddle any screen.

The Big Chew 2007

There was a 100% positive vote for me to eat the three-years expired gum so here goes. I will write as I go. I have decided to eat two pieces at once as it is the "pellet" style rather than sticks of gum.

SMELL: it smells pleasantly minty with a "mountain frost" edge.

CONSISTENCY: slightly tackier than new gum, not smooth and shiny, probably due to the fusty air in my cupboard.

TASTE: now i don't think they made this mountain frost flavour for very long because it is suspiciously chemical. I am nervous about swallowing the resultant mouthful of saliva but I will force it down!

TASTE UPDATE: within a minute almost all flavour has completely vanished! The half life of flavour must be very short! I am chewing a mouthful of tasteless petrochemicals.

THE VERDICT: I feel a bit funny. I have gone blind in one eye and there is a ringing in my ear. Please someone call an ambul

Bounty from the cupboard depths

I dug out an old jeans jacket from the cupboard (for a fancy dress party) on Friday and in the pockets I found:

* 1 unopened pack of gum, expiry date 2004
* 1 unopened pack of "Listerine Breath Strips" which i can only imagine must have been free, expiry date 2004
* 87 pence, still legal tender

Now those breath strips were basically poison fresh from the packet so I don't intend investigating them further, but what of the unopened pack of Mr Wrigley's "Mountain Icy Wind" gum? What would happen if you chew a piece of gum that was officially dead in the water three years earlier? Will it crumble to dust in my mouth and choke me? Will it release toxins that render me a dessicated corpse in minutes? Is it full of 1000 tiny spiders?

It's up to you to decide: EAT or DON'T EAT! Following the result, there will be a special blog post with realtime chewing.


ABOVE: the kind of elaborate and exciting hallucinations I predict will result from this dangerous stunt.

Everything's going my way

Huge news. the Wispa has been reinstituted by Cadbury's ("Cadbury"). They had them at the station today! Maybe all my dreams are coming true one by one!



I wonder which of my dreams will come true next?

Goats glorious goats

Yesterday I found out that it's not that unusual for a goat to climb on top of a cow and stand there for a while. This is big news. If this keeps up (and what reason is there for it not to?), goats will surpass donkeys in my animal rankings system to take the number one spot. What do YOU know about goats?

I got my calculator and my slide rule out this morning and have decided, quite arbitrarily, that Ghosts (my most recent book) has not been a hit. I wouldn't say out loud that its sales have been weak, but if they were represented by a man, it would be the man below:



Three people have written to me to say that they enjoyed it, but one of them received it free and their experience may be coloured by that fact.

I suspect that this turn of events tells me the following:

a. The market does not want new Scary Go Round stories (it may be saturated by the current five-a-week schedule)
b. I should use my spare time just to go for a walk rather than crafting coherent tales
c. Bonfire night is coming soon and tinder has never been at such a premium

I am not too depressed as I really enjoy bonfire night.