I think humanity could be helped (as a whole) by people ceasing to ask each other "are you all right" or "how are you doing" as a greeting. Nobody wants to know how another human being is doing if the answer consists of more than three words. So when asked those questions, make sure you answer it properly.
EXAMPLE
Q. All right, Dave?
A. Well, I'm not sure. I've got two or three pimples on my bottom and I'm worried it might affect my chances of becoming a thong model. Plus, you know, I've always worried that my arms are a bit long. For general use.
EXCEPTION
A good time to ask if someone is all right is if they have fallen into a ditch, or are crying. Or crying blood. Or crying blood in a ditch.
Here are some alternative greetings to help the human race live better:
"Good morning"
"Good afternoon"
"Good evening"
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4 comments:
Would 'How's aboot ye?' be a good alternative? Especially if you're from Scotland and you tend to shout a lot?
I always thought, "Hey, you slob, you have a booger stuck to your cheek," was a good greeting. I'll have to ponder your ideas. Thanks!
"Good aftersleep sir."
"Merry mid-day!"
"Post darkn's hark!'
or my personal favorite,
"HOWDY PARDNER"
agreed
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