It has only taken six years but I have bought a new fridge-freezer to replace the one that came with my house. This oil-burning pig is full of ice, rattles, and may be toxic not just to the environment but also to ghosts and outer space aliens. It lives in a cupboard.But since I did the dirty deed and ordered a new one, I've noticed a palpable chill in the kitchen. Somehow (perhaps by collusion with the equally-damned oven) it has found out, and it is giving me the evils from its cupboard. This fridge has had a long time to develop its hatred of man - by my reckoning it was purchased in the late 80s.
As you can see from the pictorial evidence, at some point it has been a victim of fire (a fridge's most hated enemy) and it is in the grip of a pretty fierce rust. I've been waiting for it to die of natural causes, but natural causes never came. Please do not judge me as I turn to euthanasia. Just pray that I am not found by the delivery men next tuesday, flattened under its recriminatory carcass.
7 comments:
The fridge depicted came with the house.
IT CEM... WITH THE FREM
That thing looks like it would leave it's spectral mark wherever it was.
...you'll never really be able to ger rid of it. I've been there. It's not pretty...
The people I bought my house from were kind enough to purchase a new refrigerator before they sold the house to me. They were not, however, kind enough to replace the creaky old hot water tank, which led to some bit of fun winter before last.
We all know, even since before Ghostbusters, that refrigerators are both sentient and portals to other realms. I'm less concerned about the fridge killing you than I am about it transporting both you and your condiments to a demon dimension.
As long as you dispose of the old one by leaving it in a shady-looking junkyard where small, curious schoolchildren can climb into it, pulling the door shut behind them, it'll probably be appeased.
I paid to have it disposed of correctly! This means that the Comet men fly-tip it somewhere on the Oldham-Rochdale loop line.
Alas Agnes, (in the modern way) it will arrive wrapped in plastic like Laura Palmer, not in an all-fun, all-the-time box.
You still have to pay the council to come get it, or our council anyway.
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