Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Dear person who decided to use my rear bumper to estimate the exact position of their front bumper yesterday afternoon: THANKS. PS I know who you are.

Book 4 has probably been saved! Things might just be okay. I need you guys to buy a lot of copies so I can buy a bigger house, with offroad parking. Or if you're rich and want to marry me, that's cool too. I'm okay with that. Rich gals usually have a garage.

EDIT: I have used CSI skills to track down the scraper, this deal is gonna get fizz-ixed, we had it out at a summit chaired by Presidents G.H.W Bush and Clinton.


Spiderbaby said...

I am not rich or a gal and I don't want to marry you but I will buy a book and (if you're not too sick of/busy for them) a personalisation. Your dream of safe parking will hopefully be realised!

P.S. Sorry to hear about the car.

marianne said...

Marry me, John, marry me!
I'm not rich, but I have great earning potential and under-cover parking!

Fanciful proposals aside *sigh*, I hope you find a printer who will do the job well for a sensible amount. That and the sod who drove into your car has their vehicle innundated with malicious bird poopings - that don't wash off easily.

LesArtificiers said...

John, can I ask you for your permission to marry Esther? Please.

Corwin said...

I can offer you my sister. She wants to be the premiere Canadian hostess, a socialite of the highest calibre.

My parents use the only garage in our family but we are prepared to offer you huge swaths of prime real estate on which you can build all the garages you want. I suppose you could even build a hangar, if you wanted.

She enjoys things like swinging her golf clubs at large animals, making fun of her brother, and Freaks and Geeks marathons. She doesn't like to eat bread but if she has a box of Cheerios she's content.

Jenna said...

When will people learn how to drive? Two weeks ago, a woman decided that she needed to completely destroy my poor little Sunfire. It makes me sad :(

Roman said...

America is the land of garages! Things we used our garage for when I was growing up:

1. Hangin' out
2. Garage sales (duh)
3. Parking cars (double duh)
4. In the colder months, extra refrigerator space

Rachel said...

A bonus to marrying for money: every time your car gets scratched you can just buy a new one. Who even needs the stupid garage?

I can't get over how much the girls love you. This should be an easy task--engaged by the end of the week, no problem.

Do girls hit on you as much in real life as on the blog? Because if so you must be very happy.

ratupatree said...

John, while I could happily read your Illustrator-ed cartoons until my eyes grow mouldy and fall out, your hand-drawn ones are nicer by a factor of lots. Hooray for them.

I regret that my inappropriate gender and mediocre means make me a poor candidate for betrothal. But the right lady is out there somewhere, and by the stupendous force of Brownian motion you will eventually find yourself propelled into her supermarket shopping trolley.

Tom Meade said...

Shill, John! Your pride for a carport is a fair deal.

Slimey said...

If CSI skills fails to track down the car scraper use voodoo. The entire internet runs on voodoo.

Slimey said...

Forgot to add, I am really enjoying the current "land of the dead" story. The talking bucket and other weirdness reminds me of the Hewligan's Haircut series from 2000AD in the mid 90's. Fantastic work.

Josh said...

Hello John. Sorry I hve been absent from your blog for like eight months, I was travelling Europe and being cultural. But I am back now and very pleased to see some hand-drawn lovelyness. It is like you are rewarding me for my persistent absenteeism!

Pero²Panda said...

I shall buy tshirts and books of yours as soon as i figure out paypal~! or get so frustrated i decide to run overseas to pay you in person XP

oh oh and i'll put myself up for to be a bridal candidate after i become filthy rich from my entrepreneurship on the condition that we ride around hong kong and japan on mopeds with a big flag and a funny bellhorn

Windsor Grace said...

When I was a wee lass, we would sit in a circle in the garage and smoke things.