Idea for a rap:
"Driving in my Volvo
Listening to Polvo"
It's currently a very short rap.
Yesterday on Radio 4 there was a programme about comics. I was very disappointed not to be asked, since after all I am the great white hope of British comics, also extremely erudite, and a show-off. My head is enormous, both physically and figuratively. Adding insult to injury, he show was presented by Michael Rosen, whose books of poetry fostered in the young me my fierce love of rhyme and the deathless drive to make things scan at all costs. So, BBC, next time you want to speak to the "next generation of British comics artists", just call me up, I have all the answers (none of the answers) and I never mark a pause with a long, drawn out "urrrrrr" because I was trained by the best.
My disappointment at not being fêted by your network will not stop me listening to the Today programme, as I find the sound of John Humphreys shouting at people an excellent alarm clock.