Thursday, March 13, 2008

Grey skies

When I looked in the mirror this morning, I noticed that my hair is going pretty grey! Soon I will be unable to move among the young because they will find me out and tar and feather me. I would move to a lighthouse right now if I only had the money (in order to see out my old age in dignity and seclusion) but property prices prevent such drastic measures. So I suppose I had better go to the chemist and get one of those products I have seen advertised all my life. You know what I am talking about. No not suicide pills!



Now sure, Just For Men is the market leader. You kind of slop it on your head and suddenly a lady touches your dyed, lying hair because you are Young Again. But what about the classic alternative - Grecian 2000!



Grecian 2000 comes in a tube so I guess if I felt self-conscious and old in the street I could keep it in my pocket and whip it out for a topical application.

Of course the other option is to go peroxide blond. It's fashionable, hip and so hot right now. See below:



This is a difficult time for me, so I hope you can help me decide how to grow old gracefully. And don't laugh at me! This will be you one day, decrepit and feeble!

PS I find wigs and hats itchy so they are out.

27 comments:

Josher said...

Go bald, John! Shave it all off and wax it. You will be dignified, like Patrick Stewart.

From Josh in Greece, where sadly almost no-one used Grecian 2000.

mordicai said...

bdvI must admit, Jay has got himself STYLE.

Roman said...

I attended a lecture last night where at one point the speaker said something like: "once you reach your early 30s, your cells just start to say 'hey, it's time to start dying!'" It was funny at the time, but upon reflection in the cold, hard light of morning...

Anik said...

Embrace your silvering locks and take your place as the Distinguished Elder Statesman of the Webcomics World. Think of the fun you'll have scolding uppity young scribblers about their derivative material and then holding them in thrall with long, meandering reminisces about the harum-scarum early days of the industry.

Seriously, chicks dig that.

Jon said...

A Dapper Hat! No man has ever gone wrong with a Dapper Hat!

John A said...

Jon: I told ya, hats are itchy!

Josher: shaving your head is the British disease and I want no part of it!

Anik: that is not what girls like AT ALL

The Lake Fever said...

Why be natural? There are better colors than Grecian 2000. No-one looks elderly with purple hair.

John A said...

There's something very undignified about a man who spent too long in the L'Oreal aisle.

crake said...

You'll have to rule out the lighthouse option too, since all UK lighthouses are now unmanned. I know, it's a travesty. If only the lighthouse fa... community had their own Scargill.

Leah said...

Chicks *do* dig it - especially if you have grey hair due to a scar from a terrible head injury. It's the best of both worlds!

K said...

I admire your stalwartness in not shaving your head. I do not think any decent chick would be put off by the odd silver thread. They're probably only visible to you, anyway.

It could be worse. My little brother's, like, ten years younger than you and he's already got quite a few greys.

Pity about the lighthouse. Lots of peace to draw, though I don't suppose lighthouses get very good broadband.

Stephen said...

Next, you'll be asking for leather jacket recommendations and looking for a cheap MG to drive around the town, looking over the top of your sunglasses at the local talent.

Here is a list of applicable models, should you wish to enquire further.

My advice is give grey a try. It might even grow on you! bdumtish.

Mizufae said...

Greying hair, especially a full head of silver on an otherwise youthful (but wise!) face, is pretty much one of the hottest things ever. Embrace it! The chicks will dig it, you will have another distinguishing characteristic when cartoonists draw you, and you will be more electable for political office.

Dean said...

Head-shaving is a bad idea. Aside from the 'reverse comb-over' connotations, people may start thinking that John A is a soccer hooligan!
My advice is to invest in a walking stick and tweed jacket. Soon, you'll be writing letter to the editor regarding Lack of Standards Among Today's Youth, and driving at three-fifths of the posted speed limit, left turn signal constantly blinking. Just go with the flow, Mr. A!

Abbey said...

I say leave the gray! You're on your way to "Silver Fox" status now.

Anik is right - girls do dig it.

Valry said...

Anderson Cooper = Gray and hot!

fontgoddess said...

you will be undeniably sexy as long as you retain your sense of humor, no matter the color of your hair.

Jen Dockter said...

Pish posh, I have friends who are 23 and greying. It's no biggy; they still get plenty of play from the ladies.

Malorie said...

I think a little grey is sexy, just saying. I have a couple of friends that are starting in their 20's. It isn't all bad. If it really is that bad, I can always bake you cookies or knit you something to make up for it. :P

LaRissa said...

My brother started graying by the age of 15... now at 31 the entire front of his hair is white while the back is black...
he is 6 years older than me so i have always known him with white hair.
the chicks think he is sexy because of it, and he gets approched at bars because he looks unique.
now john, as you can see from the comments... all the girls who read your comic think you are hott the way you are. don't change just because some male supermodel told you that "young" is in...
to age with grace is to live life knowing you are worth more than a hair color.
plus, if you ever do come back to the states... i can promise lots of geeky girls out here will jump on you to make with the smooches.

oh, but if you seriously can't live with gray... go to a salon to get it colored... they can give you advice about how to color it so you don't end up looking like a carrot... well actually i'm a red head, carrots aren't all that bad!

Carly Monardo said...

I agree with Leah, yes! Fashion yourself a grisly scar with some Halloween makeup and all the gravies be in yo shizz.

Also: walk with a limp!

Liam said...

Dye your hair blacka and get an "emo" cut. No one will mistake you for an old person, as only 14 year olds have that haircut.

Liam said...

*black

Centipede Damascus said...

Why would you want to look young? Young people tend to be pretty terrible in my experience.

Margaret said...

If there are ladies who read your comic regularly and still mind that you have some grey hair, they have obviously not been reading hard enough. Or they aren't the kind of girl you want anyway.

Paul said...

It might sound like baseless flattery, but my friends who saw you for the first time at the web comix thing all mis-judged your age in a favouable manner - and unprompted commented on your youthful appearance. One who has just turned thirty herself supposed that you were much younger than her. General view was that you looked around 27, but formal polling was hindered by an ensuing passionate discussion about whether or not Terry Nutkins was adopted by Gavin Maxwell.

Marie said...

My husband started going grey when he was still in grad school. I've seen him go almost entirely silver in the last 10 years, and I have to say he looks rakishly handsome with it. Whatever you've got, wear it with personality, and I don't think you can go wrong. My 2p.