How does it feel to be back, asked Hall and Oates. The answer is, not great, if you are referring to my recent trip to the very seat of liberty. It was a time of extreme fun. At one point I was in a hot tub, there were bubbles, I realised that the future was now and I had to say goodbye to the past. We don't have bubbles in Britain, all liquids are unagitated by law.
But now I am back and thoughts turn to ripping out my bathroom. Ripping it out so good. I will provide more news on this potentially disastrous project when I have it. It's going to be thrilling.
Airline passengers, when your plane is departing 5 hours late due to a maintenance problem, don't applaud when the airline finally announces boarding will commence. You are probably idiots.