Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Production has ceased

I've pulled a muscle in my neck while excecuting some very very tidy parallel parking. At the moment of one's greatest triumph, one is frequently struck down. Now my head is only comfortable at 45 degrees to my shoulders, and by "comfortable" I mean "extremely painful". Also I appear hunched, like an old man. It's pretty much over for me as a member of the human race.

I'm sure that you want to know how you can help. You can help by not laughiing at me when you see me on the street, bent over like a geriatric fellow enjoying his last weeks.

8 comments:

sbma44 said...

I wish I could help.

(your request has been noted)

Jenna said...

Its bad enough to get hurt, but to get hurt in such a manner that everyone can see that you're hurt can be rather embarassing. (I do wonder how one injures their neck so badly while parallel parking. Perhaps this is why I was never taught to parallel park, it sounds dangerous).

I had injured my back directly under my left shoulder blade in a car accident and afterwards I was in so much pain that I couldnt stand upright for long periods of time. When I would sit, it would start to spasm so I appeared to have a twitch. Im funny looking enough at it is, I dont need a twitch. It was not a fun period.

DeJinn said...

(Hehehe)

Try using some flavorless jello to raft yourself nifty set of make-believe scars for your cheeks. If you're feeling really edgy shave parts of your head and add some there too.

...keeps people from fixating on the neck brace...

(Hehehe)

Bee said...

Perhaps you ought to advertise in the local paper for a beauteous maiden to massage your neck with Deep Heat every hour.

LoopyChew said...

Agreed with Bee.

Lucy said...

THE CURE: Sympathetic cups of tea; your own bodyweight in Ibuprofen; neck-brace made of a pillowcase and marbles; stiff upper lip.

(See also The Cure, 80s British alt-goth-rock ensemble.)

Patrick Taylor said...

Have someone pick up some muscle relaxants and a cervical collar (or get thee to a doctor who can prescribe some). It sounds exactly like the neck muscle spasms I get every 4 years or so and --if it follows my pattern -- it gets worse until you get dosed up and have your neck supported.

diana said...

The patrick taylor fellow is correct! I have the same problem every year or so. Take a muscle relaxer or three, and a hot pad usually helps as well. There's also this exercise you can do:
Say it's the right side of your neck that is spasm-ing. Place your hand against the left side of your face, and push against your face while trying to move your head towards the left. It kind of hurts, but eventually helps your neck work out the kinks in the muscle.
I had to take my last driver's license photo in this condition. The person checking ID's at the last show I attended had a good guffaw over it. Goody.