Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Christmas is cancelled

This morning I received the begging letter from my alma mater, requesting funds from alumni. That is all right, it is the university way. As my eyes played across the colourful leaflet, I suddenly took offence. Someone on the leaflet had ruined the delightful graduation day depicted FOR EVERYONE.



Can you see them? Can you see them? No it is not "man covering face with paper because he is a spy" or "man who looks like he is doing a wee in the bushes" or "callow youth in baggy tshirt gazing at mobular phone device". Below is the fellow who I believe has ruined the day for all those lovely middle class mummies and daddies.



It is a big day for your family member, so why not commemorate it with a black vest, camo shorts and black trainies/socks combo. After all, it would be terrible if anyone missed the "gun show". You took the time to shave your veiny skull this morning, you could have taken the time to get dressed properly.

Sir, you have cost Sheffield University £25.

(I think it is interesting to imagine who this muscular oaf might be. My guess: Sheffield United footballer dating student girl depicted.)

16 comments:

Liam said...

He looks like a lecturer. Maybe of philosophy.

Or some kind of Yorkshire Kickboxing Champ.

Roman said...

Donations? I thought your socialist government paid all university costs?




Talk radio has lied to me all along, hasn't it?

John A said...

They diverted education funds to those ever-busier death panels.

Red_Dog said...

And I believe that chap is the head of one of said death panels, going to a graduation on the off chance that he might find some proud, yet frail, septugenarian grandparent whom he could finish off in his evul socialisticking way!

Indeed, it's getting like you can't even cough without someone trying to euthanise you in the name of the state over here in the You Kay...

Bill Green said...

He blends into the grass so well that I completely failed to spot him when I first perused the image.

Queclecumber said...

But John, Christmas has not been canceled at all!

Why? Because you chose today to reveal what we knew all along--that it was in fact Amy that Ryan had married.

Natalie my not-actually-American rear!

More on topic, that is a frightening sight.

MJP said...

I agree with Queclecumber. How heartwarming to see Ryan and Amy (Amy and her interferin' ways)!

Rob Turner said...

..i think he may have a bottle of whiskey in his hand too if you look close enough,those poor tainted graduates.

Black said...

Aw man, where we're going, we don't need sleeves. witness: http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=43652

P.s. Amy + Ryan = yes, yes indeed.

Morwen said...

In my country (an antipodal island chain full of strange birds*), there are invariably dozens of people dressed in as lazily offensive a way as possible at graduations. Unfortunately, most of them are called "graduates" and tend to be in one half of the demographic.

Yay for Ryan and Amy!




*with or without wings.

Karl said...

Ryan and Amy, rock on!

Also, I think those are parents waiting for their hellion(s).

lesles said...

i believe you are being too harsh on him, mr allison.

you can see the poor chap is disoriented, bewildered and confused and, i would say, on the verge of panic. and noone has even offered the distraught fellow a cup of tea.

he has clearly stumbled unawares into a graduation throng whilst simply trying to traverse the campus. this is a situation i have found myself in on more than one occasion and i assure you it can be quite terrifying.

Colin said...

Duh, he's the rappelling instructor.

Colin said...

PS: "Sheffield" is not even a real place.

Colin said...

Wait a MINNIT! That's DAN WICKLE!

Le Petit Cochon. said...

Have you not noticed the man standing behind the bald offender? The one PICKING HIS NOSE.

It cannot be unseen.