This morning I received the begging letter from my alma mater, requesting funds from alumni. That is all right, it is the university way. As my eyes played across the colourful leaflet, I suddenly took offence. Someone on the leaflet had ruined the delightful graduation day depicted FOR EVERYONE.
Can you see them? Can you see them? No it is not "man covering face with paper because he is a spy" or "man who looks like he is doing a wee in the bushes" or "callow youth in baggy tshirt gazing at mobular phone device". Below is the fellow who I believe has ruined the day for all those lovely middle class mummies and daddies.
It is a big day for your family member, so why not commemorate it with a black vest, camo shorts and black trainies/socks combo. After all, it would be terrible if anyone missed the "gun show". You took the time to shave your veiny skull this morning, you could have taken the time to get dressed properly.
Sir, you have cost Sheffield University £25.
(I think it is interesting to imagine who this muscular oaf might be. My guess: Sheffield United footballer dating student girl depicted.)