Saturday, April 11, 2009

Twitter splitter; nothing moves sprites like a blitter

I wish to report for public record my experiences with Twitter, namely writing the Shelley Winters Dr Ladysounds Twitter. The project got off to a flying start, I wrote some words and put them in the internet. It was fun! But as people started to comment on the posts I felt bad that they did not receive responses. At the same time I started to feel like some kind of cyber transvestite pretending to be a lady when I even thought about responding. It was too real. Much too real. So when an enforced break meant that I got out of the flow of posting, I could not continue. The sorry episode must be laid to rest in the cold earth.

The most exciting moment was when Chris Salt, winner of Adam and Joe's video wars competition, started following me. Chris makes amazing Lego films and I hated that all I could do was send him an in-character "direct message" in a manner that made me feel like a Bangkok ladyboy.

I think, following that last sentence, I will retire from the internet forever and become a bin man.

In retrospect perhaps I felt less like a Bangkok ladyboy and more like Hinge and Bracket but still. No more twitter, dear ladies.


Kyle Phaneuf said...

I never bothered to check out Dr. Ladysound's "tweets", simply because the very fact that there is such a verb makes me existentially depressed, but I suddenly have a great, unexplainable desire to.

That said, I'm still glad that there is one less person I respect on Twitter. I hate to be all anti-new-stuff about this, but Twitter is way too close to self-flagellation for me to take.

uncomplicatedly said...

In general, I hate twitter with a passion and believe that it will be the undoing of our society-- HOWEVER, Dr. Lady Sounds' twitter account was starting to change my mind. You were showing that it could be used as for storytelling! I was excited about the future of the medium! "Finally," I thought, "someone has come up with something worthwhile to do with this idiotic technology. Am I witnessing the birth of a new literary genre?"

I encourage you to reconsider your decision. As a fictional character, I don't think Shelly was particularly obliged to answer all messages, & maybe you could post something in her profile stating that policy.

Magic Pants Jones said...

Noooo! I love Dr. Ladysounds' tweets! It doesn't make you a tranny any more than my creepy clown blog, Spitzle the Clown makes me a dangerous criminal. You can write for someone without being them, John Allison.

And besides, we all know that you're not real either, but a character imagined up by Andy Partridge in an attempt to work out his stage fright.

Calla Nicole said...

Ah well. It was fun while it lasted. I wish you hadn't deleted it though. You coulda just left it up for us to read a few years from now once we've forgotten what happened, the same way all your comics are still archived. Though I must admit I don't know how Twitter actually works. Would her comments have stayed up indefinitely?

Kyle Phaneuf said...

Hey, Jonathan Allison, did you see this, by chance? It is both funny and relevant.

NoiseTank said...

You know, I just realized that I had not seen an update in a few days and was disappointed to see the profile was gone. Farewell, Mr. Dr. Ladysounds! You were a bright spot in the dismal world that is my life.

Lucy said...

RIP Dr Ladysounds! I hope I'm not too indie to enjoy funny things on Twitter; but as a human being with a life outside the internet I was a bit surprised to come across Shelley on Twitter at all - because you must be a human being etc etc as well.

If nothing else, at least you've halted a possible slow decline into madness, whereby you gradually become convinced that you are in fact your own creation and go tearing through the streets of Manchester dressed in a frilly Primark frock.

It was good while it lasted! Thanks John :)

John A said...

That you everyone who enjoyed it, I closed the account simply because I did not want people stumbling across it to look forward to more and find themselves disappointed.

I think Dr Ladysounds is best confined to the domain of fictional people for her own good.

MNS said...

Truly, Shelly was the only person I really wanted to follow on Twitter. Though I understand the decision.

Coop said...

Hi John, I really like your work and hope that this interests you.

I am attempting to amass a large collection of portraits of Frankenstein's Monster in as many different styles and in as many different media as possible as an ongoing art project. The only stipulation is that the size is 2.5 inches by 3.5 inches (standard artist trading card size) and that each card has name, date, title and anything else you care to add on the back.

I welcome cards from both amateur and professional artists.

I will be leaving blank cards with instructions and mailing address in galleries, colleges, art shops, on buses, handing them out in the street and wherever else I can think of.

If you think you can spare the time to produce a little something, please send a portrait to:

A Patchwork Of Flesh
45 Silversea Drive
Westcliff on Sea
United Kingdom

Each card I receive will be uploaded at to produce an on-line gallery, I then hope to put on an exhibition of these cards in a gallery.