I wish to report for public record my experiences with Twitter, namely writing the Shelley Winters Dr Ladysounds Twitter. The project got off to a flying start, I wrote some words and put them in the internet. It was fun! But as people started to comment on the posts I felt bad that they did not receive responses. At the same time I started to feel like some kind of cyber transvestite pretending to be a lady when I even thought about responding. It was too real. Much too real. So when an enforced break meant that I got out of the flow of posting, I could not continue. The sorry episode must be laid to rest in the cold earth.
The most exciting moment was when Chris Salt, winner of Adam and Joe's video wars competition, started following me. Chris makes amazing Lego films and I hated that all I could do was send him an in-character "direct message" in a manner that made me feel like a Bangkok ladyboy.
I think, following that last sentence, I will retire from the internet forever and become a bin man.
In retrospect perhaps I felt less like a Bangkok ladyboy and more like Hinge and Bracket but still. No more twitter, dear ladies.