Sunday, February 24, 2008

There Will Be Ham

Well, I saw "There Will Be Blood" on Friday. What a preposterous film it was. Maybe Daniel Day Lewis is the greatest actor of his generation, or maybe, just maybe, he serves up slices of the thickest ham ever cut and lays them on as thickly as ham has ever been laid on.

Anyway, I drew some diagrams to explain the film immediately after watching it, these should save you three hours and the price of a ticket.



I will say that the three hours passed quickly, it sure looked pretty. But it was total twaddle.

14 comments:

Joe B said...

I couldn't disagree with you more, sir. But I appreciate the adorable diagrams!

Stephen said...

I went to see this but switched to Be Kind Rewind at the last second. Your detailed deconstruction of the film made me feel I did the right thing.

For some reason, loads of people clapped at the end of the film, as if Michel Gondry was in the wings. The audiences at Merry Hill are weird/childish.

Marianne said...

I completely agree!
Although DDL is lauded as the greatest actor ever, I really didn't believe him or the film. It ended abruptly (what is with the lack of closure recently, people?).

gordon said...

You should have gone to see Jumper.

Then you'd only have wasted ninety minutes of your life instead of a full three hours.

Carly Monardo said...

Thank you, Johnny. Thank you thank you thank you.

Valry said...

I.Drink.Your.MILKSHAKE. *sluuuuurp* I drink it up!

sarah j. said...

BWAHAHAHAAA! Your caricature is spot-on, John A! Daniel Day-Lewis is a delicious ham-milkshake! :D

Roman said...

There was a television commercial here in the U.S. advertising "There Will Be Blood" that first tipped me off. At the end, they show a close-up of Daniel Day Lewis, trembling, spitting, shouting "I've abandoned my boy!" When I saw that, I said to myself "that movie looks like a big old can of ham." It appears my instincts were correct.

Patches said...

I don't like that Daniel Day Lewis, too much acting.

By the way, how many killings?

John A said...

It was more killings than Cocoon but less killings than Bride of Chucky I think.

Sparkles F said...

I hate it when audiences clap at the end of a movie in a theater, as if they are all congratulating themselves at being so smart as to recognize what a fantastic movie it is. You only clap when the people responsible for the clapping can hear you, morons! Also, it shames me to say I may be related to people who would do that.
I don't ever watch DDL movies.

Elizabeth said...

Haha, but I liked the movie BECAUSE it was ridiculous! Also, your drawing is hilarious. I love his angry face.

Citizen Meh said...

I haven't seen the film yet, but your caricature of DDL cracks me up!

Jamie said...

Your drawing reminds me of the wonderful illustrations by Quentin Blake in Roald Dahl's books, so huzzah!