Thursday, May 19, 2005

Automotive disasters update

Fans of my ability to wreck my car may be interested to hear how much hitting a gatepost costs. The answer is £1500! My car smells of valeting "fluids", it's like an embalmed zombie car. Its character seems to have changed, it is angry and thirsty for revenge. Tomorrow I will take to the roads in a gate-smashing rampage, incapable of controlling my limbs, brain or (probably) bladder.


kate said...

car repairs are nasty expensive - as if we didn't pay enough to be on the road to begin with!

i recommend buying a tank for many reasons:
1) it would be out of the hands of the armed forces who would only use it to squish people
2) gates would no longer be a problem
3) parallel parking would be a dream
4) no one would dare scrawl "Plese wash me" in the dust on your tank
5) if it didn't start in the morning you could just sit in it and make tank noises(or tape the ones from playing desert storm) and noone would say you were mad because you'd still have squishing potential.

i mean if people living in cities think they need jeeps and land rovers, i think we should be able to buy tanks.


mike said...

this is exactly the reason i don't own a car. either that, or that i don't have anywhere to put it, can't afford to pay insurance and don't really need it to get around.

oh the life of a student!

Red_Dog said...

Ah ha, so this is where you are spending your time Mr Allison! But given your automotive problems, shouldn't you be sat in a grimy pub, roll up between your teeth, nursing a pint and perusing a dog-eared copy of Auto Trader...?