Monday, September 21, 2009

Aerial desperation



I am not what you would term a bad flyer but when I get off a Transatlantic flight, I am not the same as I was when I boarded. The first four hours are a riot of aero-fun, but during the last three I develop tense nervous headache, lamp-like white face and the shivers. Is this caused by my distance from the Queen? I wonder if at some point I will do the full Brian Wilson freakout and there will have to be an emergency landing in Guam.

That would be embarrassing.

How on earth do people fly from the UK to Australia? I think if I did that, they would have to put some sleeping drops in my milk like the A-Team did with BA Baracus.

How on earth did BA Baracus get to Vietnam if he wouldn't fly? It's fine Hannibal knocking him out with drops in his milk but I'm sure the US Army would have a problem with that.

16 comments:

Edward said...

Most US troops going to Vietnam went by ship.

porsupah said...

Seriously: noise-cancelling headphones. If you watch a movie, you can enjoy all the dialog, without having to crank the volume up; or if you'd prefer peacefulness, just have nothing feeding into them. They'll reduce that constant rushing noise to a whisper. Even a cheapie pair will work, though their longetivity might be measured in modest numbers of months rather than aeons; all depends how long you're intending to live, really.

In-flight entertainment.. varies. United have employed specialists, of ruthless dedication, as skilled at removing any semblance of interest in any video or printed material distributed by the company as are the food scientists of McDonalds, able to produce items strongly resembling beef products, yet without any of the pesky flavor. Virgin and Air Canada, though, seem to understand the concept of "entertainment", even if the latter adds a note of "captive audience", with an ad or two prefacing all features and shorts.

Easiest, of course, is to seek peaceful contemplation within the work previously loaded onto one's iPhone. Add a copy of BeatMaker and noise.io, and you can be musically noodling away while the wings make an early descent ahead of the rest of the aircraft.

Elisabeth said...

Is the Jack from Bad Machinery the same little jack from the last chapter of SGR? And if so will we be seeing more of his gang and Lottie and Shauna?

John A said...

Thanks Edward, now I know the truth about BA Baracus.

Porsupah: I have a pair of headphones that one jams deep into the ear, they were not cheap! My problem is not so much the miserable time in the tube as the havoc aviation plays with my delicate constitution. I think it may be the Wright Brothers' fault.

Elisabeth: keep watching and see!

Danny said...

John,

Not to ruin Edwards theory which is probably correct, but what if BA suffered psychological damage in Vietnam which cased his fear of flying?

Inara said...

I'm going to agree with Danny on the fear of flying developing in Vietnam, and add my husband's theory that it was probably something specifically done by Murdock.

Karl said...

OH NOES THE NEW COMIC IS TERRIBLE!1!!

Just kidding. The style is cool already... The other day I went back through some of the SGR archive and noticed how much Shelley changed in just a few comics right around the Shelby Winners story. It's cool to see the new kid's style.

Also, I was just telling my buddy this morning about one radio-alarm-clock-wakeup-dream I had to "Land Down Under." I went all over the Australian country side looking for a Vegemite sandwich.

Also also? Nintendo DS is the modern soldier's sleeping drops. I'm not even kidding about this part. My last few sentences are always serious.

Red_Dog said...

Crazy fool! Ev'ry fool knows BA swam from the land of the Freedom Eagle to 'Nam, only stopping to loot a sunken treasure ship on the way, from whence came his horde of subtle and tasteful jewellery. This is FACT!

andi said...

off topic, since I can't find the appropriate place to put it... but is there a bolder version of the new font you're using in the comic? perhaps a pixel bigger?

I'm old you see.

Christophe said...

Just to add to red_dog's post...

BA was powered by fervent patriotism...

Dick said...

FYI Guam is in the Pacific!

Joao said...

I never thought I'd find a character that I would like as much as Tessa/Rachel, but darn if Shauna Wickle isn't my new favorite. Well done!

A said...

It is most likely distance from the Queen.

I invite you to note the general pallor and ill-health which prevails in the colonies. It is not merely the malarial climate which so plagues the citizens of the New World, but the absence of any True and Divinely-ordained Crown under which their frantic toils might be directed into the building of a healthful Commonwealth.

Even the French -- no strangers to chaos and famine in their own land-- find themselves growing languid and flaccid amongst the marshes and vast wastelands of that far shore.

Among the peoples transplanted to the colonies, only the Irish, gathering together in a vast, churlish throng, manage to flourish. Their perennial rebellion and wanderlust finds ample room to spread itself about amongst those interminable wild spaces. (All the more proof that the place is not fit for a civilized English constitution.)

Pray return quickly, O son of the Blessed Land, to the bosom of your motherly Sovereign.

gabbiana said...

As a former denizen of the city in question, I whole-heartedly support the replacement of the old-fashioned slogan, "city of brotherly love," with, "Philadelphia: It has all gone wrong in the sky." You should start a petition.

spasticfreakshow said...

i crave the u.s. like msg and bacon all wrapped into one, with chocolate sauce on top. but..by the time i get there i feel on the verge of a homicidal spree and at the same time, sadly unable to walk normally. it's a disaster. and it's been 20 years since star trek invented the beam me up transporter. that we still don't have that technology is...barbaric!

John said...

I think it was Alan Moore who said once that the human soul can only travel at 50mph or so, so when you travel by plane or other such speedy contraption you are in fact leaving your soul behind and as you land in America it's laboriously making it's way over the Atlantic. This is the true cause of jetlag.