Monday, August 03, 2009

Death watch beetle

It is harder than you would think to take a sick day when you are self-employed. When you have a boss, you can phone up with the sick voice, and once they accept that you have something that is not quite typhoid and not quite the mumps, a verbal contract is signed and you can play Tony Hawks 3 all day and watch Bridget Jones 2: The Edge Of Reason (who does this DVD belong to?) because it is all that your shattered health will stand. It is the law, the law of the hardworking Joe.

But when, like today, you (self-employed in a physically untaxing job) awake with a terrible malaise after a night of confusing dreams about Audrey Tatou playing Coco Chanel, there is no one to give you license not to move the eight metres to the office area and get on with it. However, I have made a decision, and the decision is to lie on the settee groaning all day and playing "Scrabble" on the "Internet" while listening to the "cricket" and if anyone tries to stop me I will prove them wrong by perishing on the spot.

It may be time for a rest cure.

13 comments:

John A said...

In the dream I upset Audrey Tatou with an off hand comment about "He Loves Me Not". No seriously Audrey I thought it was pretty decent oh god.

Laura said...

Aww I hope you feel better soon! You have made me fancy watching Bridget Jones edge of reason which I do own!

.M. said...

I think there's a decent chance the Bridget Jones DVD belongs to your friend that irons her hair.

Feel better soon, man.

stereo-tzu said...

Feel better soon - I just got the swine flu nod from the NHS myself... :P

John A said...

STEREO-TZU:

Please don't let it be the swine, the people need me fit and well and ready for action.

Bri said...

Worry not, perhaps it is merely the wine-flu, which can be cured with a day of vitamins and healthy liquids!

Maryjo said...

feel better john! there is a lot of sickness going around. stay strong!

we need to restart our scrabble battles. i think you may have gone into the lead, which is unacceptable.

lesles said...

thoroughly endorse your decision, having made very similar decisions recently.

hopefully the cricket helped. it certainly hasn't done much for people round these parts, disrupting, as it has, our understanding of the natural laws of the universe.

Dean said...

Be careful, John- the sight or sound of England beating Australia in the Ashes series may be too much of a shock for your sickness-ravaged body to withstand.

And get well soon.

arariel said...

Feel better John!

Also, I received my birthday gift from my wife this weekend... the mashed potato cake was brilliant and wonderful! Thank you!

K said...

Oh dear. You do seem to catch everything that's going about, don't you?

I thought "He loves me not" was pretty good, too, although it wasn't at all as advertised on the video box.

John A said...

It's what happens when you push it to the limit like an early 90s dance song by, say, C&C Music Factory, might implore you to.

Glenatron said...

When I worked for myself I swear I was more ill and more frequently than ever happened when I had an employer who would still allow me to have an income when I was sick...