Sunday, September 21, 2008

Explode-o-time

For reasons beyond my control, yesterday I sought out the cheapest watch in town. It had to be a Casio. Of course I bought it in Argos, and I was pleased with my £7.99 efforts. That is until I put on my Casio F91W. Suddenly I was overcome by a sense of shame and ennui so powerful that I hooked my sweater over my wrist so that people could not see this craven timepiece. My old watch was nice. This one... seemed nasty. Reassurances to the contrary warmed my heart but did not soothe my mind.

That evening, my brother called and read generously to me from Wikipedia about the cheapest watch in Casio's arsenal. Why not visit the Wikipedia page for the F91W and scroll past the technical details to the long section marked claimed use in terrorism.

That's right. I, the Freedom Eagle, have bought and now wear the watch that hates America.


"Infidels!"

5 comments:

Valry said...

"Casio continues to work closely with all government agencies, including the Department of Homeland Security to help limit any potential threats and deal with security concerns."

What are they supposed to do? Charge more than $15 for their product? It's not their fault they have made a perfectly efficient, easy-to-use, inexpensive chronograph! Or maybe it is.....

It's alright that your time piece hates America. Basically everyone hates America at this point.

Daniel said...

What's nastier: standard F91Ws like we have, or an F91W with a gold chain like my grandpa has?

Kenny said...

I loved that watch, wore it all through growing up and for a long time refused to buy any other watch as it was a horrible waste to pay more for a watch that had fewer functions and would not last as long.

Its main weakness is that the band only lasts 3 years or so but the watch keeps on ticking long past that, and replacement bands are flimsy garbage.

If terrorists use this watch, it's because they recognize value when they see it.

Fortunately I have had nicer watches since 9/11 as those around me have insisted that a grown-up must wear a classier watch.

kelvingreen said...

Wow, it's a good thing I'd upgraded to a slightly more expensive Timex by the time I lived in the US. I couldn't have faced Gitmo Bay!

rob said...

That was my school watch! i was quite the catch, at the time...