Thursday, March 30, 2006

...and the "ology"

All Popjustice had to do today to win big was put 4 KLF videos on the same page of the internet.

When I was a young teen-ager, the KLF were the biggest band in Europe! They were two Scottish art-terrorists making techno records. I can't imagine such a conceit dominating popular music nearly 15 years on, which seems awfully sad, but maybe we all just went buck wild because the world was going to explode in the year 2000.

The last of the four (utterly preposterous) videos is when they performed their biggest hit with a death metal band at the Brit Awards, then quit making music forever. At the end you see Billy Bragg turn to someone and say "fuckin' hell", and he's right! Fuckin' hell!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Things you probably ought to know

At around 1pm today, just before lunch, I entered into an internal debate.

"Does my car have a sunroof? I don't think it does"
"No wait, it probably does"
"I'm sure it doesn't"
"No, I'm positive that it doesn't"
"But surely it does"

This went on for a minute or so, during which I assured myself that no, it didn't have a sunroof. I went to look out of the window.

It does have a sunroof. Well I never!

Perhaps one day I will learn the difference between a sunroof and a moonroof. I imagine it is similar to the difference between a rainbow and a moonbow.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Dogtooth dogtooth

The video for Franz Ferdinand's L. Wells is a real good treat, I promise!

It's Windows Media, so Mac users might have to use Flip4mac.

News is thin on the ground this week. It's a tough business, living for pleasure alone. I hope you enjoy this week's comics, the new artistic strategies I've been working on for the last month or so are hopefully bearing fruit.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Women of the world take over, because we haven't got long

I bought a new suit today! Ladies, I don't want to cause swooning and conniptions across the blogodrome but please take heed: nothing says "here to fix the photocopier" like me in a suit. Toner low, good to go.

One of the proudest moments of my whole life was when found out that people were taking printouts of my comics to the hairdresser and saying, "that's what I want". Somehow, I have done a good thing.

"Give me a Len Pickering: scorched earth on top and tidy the borders."

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Air-punching masterclass

After 24 hours of holding the sides of my head and weeping for my creative instinct, today I designed three new shirts that are "real nice"* and also came up with a new vinyl doll in the magic Mongor style. I have decided to design for pleasure alone and forget about trying to make shirts that visually describe the nebulous concepts depicted in Scary Go Round, shirts which invariably prove as popular as thumbscrews and glue sammiches.

So, coming soon for you to own: KROPOTKIN FAMILY EARWIGS

*One of them is not "real nice", it is "spectacularly ghastly on every level".

Saturday, March 18, 2006

A living tribute in topiary

Reader Matt Jones sent me this, see what you think!

It is, isn't it?

But is anyone, even me, really innocent?

Friday, March 17, 2006

A plea

To all the people who wrote to me asking for a shirt based on the last panel of today's comic: I don't know how to make that into anything that would look good. I tried to induce hypnagogia in order to hallucinate up an answer but it didn't work. With the t-shirt line creaking like a gate in a stiff breeze, I will be in the fashion lab all next week, so feel free to give me a shout.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Grevious omission from 2005 chart-of-the-year that I now rectify

I thought "Nashville" by Josh Rose was a 2004 record, but it isn't. I have put it in the chart at number two, it's the ideal record to listen to when you're feeling a. bucolic or b. melancholic. You can get it on too, the site that seldom fails to please.

I have consulted Shelley for a review:

"After a hard day on the farm having your heart broken by a callous milkmaid, this is the only record you need to listen to. Josh Rouse looks and sounds like he has just burned his hand on a chip pan but his nice way with sounds will help everyone feel better eventually."


I have been tinkering with this for ages, but here's the Google Is Ruining Everything design. Perhaps this shirt can save society (from people who cheat at quizzes).

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


I've done another two paintings, hopefully they will find favour! I hope I will see some of you in Mile End on Saturday.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Such a pretty lie!

I have made some new buttons for this weekend.

Who wants a "Google Is Ruining Everything" shirt? And how exactly do I draw that?

Monday, March 06, 2006

It's the night-time baby don't let go of my love

I am still painting painting, trying to remember what this painting game is all about. My theory on the matter: paint.


Sunday, March 05, 2006

A loaded weapon called lust

Hello! I am painting some new pictures for the Web Comix Thing and International Horse Trials Doohickey 2006 in London. I feel a bit rusty, but here's the first one.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Highway to the danger-zone

I am a lot better now, thanks for your well wishes. But I could be snatched up by a pterodactyl by any minute and eaten in seconds, so don't take me for granted. Keep those candles lit and the shrines shiny.

This week I have been forced to stay in by courier companies who don't pick up packages. When a task has bad juju over it, you might as well give up all hope of ever completing it, but unfortunately I think there are people in America still waiting for 5-packs of books so I can't just take this cardboard box out into the back yard and shoot it like I normally would.

Maybe it was a mistake to finally resort to local company "", whose mandate is neither to pick up your package, nor staff their customer service area with actual humans. I look forward to trying to extract a refund from the Bolton-based no-hopers.

My current plan is simply to throw the books into the sea in Liverpool and hope they wash ashore in Boston, MA. While throwing the books, I will also hurl representatives from Fed Ex and Parcel Force into the sea. Imagine this piscine tableau next time you regard a large body of water.

So, from my sick bed to a jail cell for my marine crimes. Come, mighty pterodactyl, come. Your leathery wings cannot carry you near to me fast enough.

PS SINGLE OF THE WEEK - Absentee "Something To Bang". What a gravelly treat!